On January 6th, we had the honor of having Director Rong-Yi Wang at Lanya to give a parenting education talk entitled “Understanding Children’s Minds, Understanding Our Own Minds”. He put a large emphasis on becoming a “healthy” parent, rather than a “good” parent. Self-care plays an important role in this. By understanding ourselves, we are able to give space to our children to be their own persons, to figure out their needs, and to support them accordingly. Many times, we are tempted to project our own expectations and desires onto them. Unsurprisingly, this often ends in disappointment and frustration. Parents might feel upset that their children are not receiving gratefully, while children feel misunderstood.
A practical tip that the speaker has given is that parents should try recalling what they themselves were like when they were their child’s age. He encourages parents to think about their own desires, expectations, needs and so on. That can be used as a starting point to understand their children better. Different children cope with anxiety differently, so it is crucial for adults to first understand why they are behaving a certain way. That way, we are able to get to the root of the problem.
We are thankful to Director Wang for giving us such an insightful talk. It is our hope that all parents may have some takeaways that would perhaps take some burden off their shoulders. Wanting to be a “good” parent is a lot of pressure, but it is more important to understand ourselves better and build emotional health so that we are able to better understand our children.